Probably Not Actually Flowers
by Violet-Amy
Summary: It turns out Jughead and Archie want the same thing. Sort of.


Jughead hasn't had a crush since he was eleven. He thought he outgrew them, honestly. But then one day Reggie is giving Jughead shit, and it's not like it's anything he isn't used to, but Archie steps in to defend him—physically fighting Reggie, and getting a black eye and everything—and Jughead instantly gets that same lightheadedness, that same tightness in his chest, that same desire to just be near his crush that he had back then. For a second it's almost like the last five years never happened, even though so much has actually changed in those five years.

And, yes, his eleven-year-old crush was also on Archie.

He never told Archie, or anyone else, because...well, he didn't really understand what was going on. He didn't think he was old enough to be gay, and he definitely wasn't mature enough to be okay with the idea that he might be gay, and he figured if he just waited it would pass.

Strangely enough, it did pass.

He didn't develop any more crushes on any other boys, so he stopped worrying that he might be gay. And then he never really developed any crushes on any girls either, which he thought was kind of weird. He's always had a lot of other stuff going on, so it's not like he agonized over it constantly, but in the back of his head he was waiting for the day to come when he'd be as into girls as Archie was. By the time Archie admitted that he sometimes thought about guys _that way_ too, about halfway through freshman year, Jughead had finally stopped waiting to feel the same way. Archie never actually declared he was bi, but Jughead did end up declaring (just to Archie and Betty, not to the whole town or anything) that he was ace.

Now, though. Now he's wondering if maybe he's not after all.

Except maybe he still is. His crush is almost exactly like it was when he was eleven...meaning he doesn't actually want to fuck his best friend.

Of course, he never really thought about fucking Archie when he was eleven, so he thinks about it now. Up in Archie's room, wrapping a bag full of ice in a towel so Archie can stand to hold it to his eye, Jughead surreptitiously checks him out. Archie's good-looking, Jughead knows this objectively. He finds Archie's face and body more aesthetically pleasing than not. But when he tries to imagine getting Archie naked and putting his penis in Archie's butt—or vice versa, Archie putting his in Jughead's—the whole idea just strikes him as kind of ridiculous.

What he wants is to be close to Archie, to touch him even, just not like _that_. Experimentally, he brushes some hair off Archie's forehead, figuring that if Archie objects he can say he was just trying to make room for the ice pack.

Archie doesn't object. It almost seems like he's leaning into the touch...but obviously that's just Jughead seeing what he wants to see.

Wait, does he want Archie to like him back? He's not even sure. He's only sure that Archie's crushes are probably nothing like his.

If it's even a crush! Jesus, he's being ridiculous! Archie stood up for him, got a black eye for him, and there's some vaguely romantic part of Jughead's psyche that's reacting to that the way he would have years ago. That's all. This is definitely just a passing thing that's better ignored.

God, he hasn't said anything in a really long time. Archie must think he's a freak. That is, Archie's pretty much the only person who never thinks he's a freak, but still, he must think it's odd. He should say something. Uh...

"Thanks." Oh, brilliant. "For sticking up for me." Yes, that helped make him sound less idiotic. "Not that I'm actually happy you did, because I didn't really want you to get hurt, but..." Okay, he's just going to shut up now.

"Reggie's such an ass," Archie says. "I know you don't need anyone else to stand up for you, he just pissed me off so much."

Damn it, the tightening in Jughead's chest is getting worse. Ignore it, ignore it. Say something normal-Jughead would say. "I hope you don't think this means you're off the hook for buying me burgers at Pop's."

Archie laughs as he brings the ice pack to his eye. "How about just fries?"

"Just fries indeed! Do you really think I'm that easy?"

Archie shakes his head slowly. "No, Jug. That's one thing I've never thought about you."

~o0o~

Archie feels like all the money his dad pays him for his work on the weekends is going straight into the cash register at Pop's. It's worth it to have Jughead not hate him anymore though. He reaches for the check, but Jughead surprises him by pulling out some cash. Only enough for himself, but then, that's most of the bill. It's a good enough sign that Archie feels like it's safe to ask, "Does this mean I have my best friend back?"

Jughead frowns at him. "I thought Betty was your best friend."

"She is. You are too. At least...I hope you are still. Or again, or whatever."

"You can't have two best friends. The word _best_ is a superlative. It means better than literally everything else. There can only be one best."

Archie knows Jughead is better with words and logic than he is, but he's not ready to concede. "Can't there be a tie?"

Jughead looks like he's really considering it. He opens his mouth a couple times without actually saying anything before finally settling on, "Sure. Okay. I'm not going to challenge Betty to sudden death-time or whatever you sporty folks call it."

Archie feels his lips crook up into a grin. He likes that there are _some_ fields in which his vocabulary is better than Jug's. "That's close enough to what we call it." He stirs the remnants of his milkshake with his straw. "I know I shouldn't press my luck here, but I really want to know if you forgive me for this summer. For Ms. Grundy and...everything."

Jughead crosses his arms. "There's nothing to forgive you for. She's an adult; you're a minor. You're the victim."

Archie doesn't really feel like Ms. Grundy's victim, no matter what everyone keeps telling him. He's only _just_ stopped feeling so guilty for getting her run out of town. Anyway, it's not a conversation he wants to have again right now. He says, "Yeah, but I mean...I shouldn't have blown you off this summer. I was a total dick. I'm really sorry."

"I know you are."

Archie waits, in case there's more. When it's clear there isn't, he asks, "You know I'm a dick? Or you know I'm sorry?"

"Both." Jughead smirks and adds, "Dick."

"You can call me a dick all you want if you forgive me."

Jughead leans back and looks at Archie, but not his eyes, like his ear or something. "So...dickhead...do you still consider Betty your best friend too?"

"Sure. She was only trying to help. Like you were too. I know you were both just looking out for me."

Jughead lets out an exasperated sigh. "I don't mean what happened with Grundy. I mean before that, what she said to you about...you know, how she feels about you. That didn't ruin things?"

"Um." Archie's suddenly glad Jughead _isn't_ making eye contact with him. "It didn't exactly help. Like, it didn't make me feel any different about her, but it made her feel...well, you remember. I get why she didn't want to keep it in anymore, but..."

"But you think she should have."

"No! I mean, knowing what she does now, maybe _she_ wishes she had. But at the time she said it, she didn't know I couldn't feel the same way, so..."

"Right."

They sit in silence for several minutes. Archie has no idea what Jughead is thinking about, but what he is thinking about is how if he thought there was any chance the best friend _he's_ in love with might love him back, he would make the same decision Betty did. Hell, it's so tempting to say something even though he _knows_ Jughead doesn't feel the same way. Maybe it would be better to be able to talk about it at least. And maybe Jughead already knows anyway. Maybe that's why he's bringing it up. "Actually..."

"Why couldn't you feel the same way about her though? I would get it if you just didn't, but you didn't say _didn't_ , you said _couldn't_."

"Did I? Yeah, well, I'm sort of already in..."

"If you tell me you're still in love with Ms. Grundy I'm going to scream."

"What? No. I did think I was in love with her, you know, at the time. Maybe I was. Maybe it was just the sex, though; I don't know."

"Right. Of course." If Jughead is trying to hide his look of disgust, which Archie thinks he actually is, he's not doing a very good job of it. "So you're already in what? In...trouble? In court? In...oh, in rehab? In love addiction rehab? That's it, isn't it? Ooh, this is fun! How many things can a person be 'in'? Maybe you're already in..."

"I'm already in love with you, you idiot!" Archie says, way louder than necessary, and he feels everyone at Pop's turn to look at them. Not that he's sure they actually are, because he's studying the melted ice cream at the bottom of his malt glass with all his attention. His ears are hot and his hands are shaking, but he's been holding this in for so long that he's not about to stop now that's it out there. "And I know you're never going to feel the same way, and I know that even though you've never said so you probably think I'm weird for being attracted to girls _and_ guys—"

"I've never thought that was weird," Jughead objects. "Lots of people are bi."

"I know, but I probably seem oversexed and totally pervy to you, and maybe I am, and I'm sorry if you thought all this time that at least I could respect you enough to...I mean, I _do_ respect you, of course, it's just that I kind of can't help it, and...anyway, I hope I didn't just make a huge mistake by opening my mouth and freak you the fuck out. I can never mention it again, I swear, so if we can just pretend I didn't just say that, that'd be aces. I mean...shit..."

"Aces. That's funny."

"I have no idea why I said that, Jug. I'm not just a dick, I'm an idiot too."

"You know what else is funny?"

Archie waits, until he realizes that Jughead isn't going to go on without being asked. "What else is funny?"

"I actually think I do feel the same way."

"The same way as what?"

Jughead breaks out the exasperated sigh again. "The same way you do, when you said you're in love with me. But with you, not with myself."

"Oh," Archie says. It's literally the only response he can think of as he tries to process what Jughead just told him. The words seem clear enough, but Jughead can't possibly mean what Archie thinks he means.

"Yeah, oh. So since we're on the same page, apparently, do you want to go to your place and make out?"

Archie starts to choke, even though there's literally nothing in his mouth. Not even spit; his mouth is super dry.

"Is that a no?" Jughead asks. "It's okay if you were just fucking with me; just tell me now so I don't make an even bigger fool of myself."

"I swear I wasn't fucking with you, Jughead! It's just...last year you told me you were asexual. You'd done all this research, and..."

"I didn't do _that_ much research," Jughead says. "I found a couple sites about asexuality, and it seemed to fit, so I figured that was it. Now, I'm thinking...maybe I was wrong. Maybe I'm just a late bloomer after all."

Archie's still trying to wrap his head around this new development. "So...you _are_ attracted to me? Like, sexually?"

"Um..." Jughead's face goes white, and Archie's heart sinks. Not that his hesitation should be a surprise. Actually, Archie can't believe he let himself get his hopes up even slightly.

"So then...why did you say you want to make out? Does _make out_ mean something different to you than it does to me?"

The color returns to Jughead's face. Way too much color, in fact. He says, "Just so we're clear, _you're_ the one insisting we talk instead of make out?"

Archie laughs, a little nervously. "I guess so. Ironic, right? Or am I using the word _ironic_ wrong again?"

Jughead doesn't comment on his word choice, however. He asks, "If you insist on having this mortifying conversation, can we at least go somewhere private?"

Archie is not encouraged by Jughead's use of the word _mortifying_. He almost wishes he had agreed to Jughead's plan of just making out instead of basically talking him out of it. But, no, he knows he's doing the right thing. He pulls out enough cash for his share of the bill plus a tip, and they walk out of Pop's, not touching or standing any closer than usual.

They end up going to Archie's house, and Jughead avoids making eye contact with Archie's dad as they pass him going up the stairs. Archie's dad must notice, but he doesn't react. He's used to Jughead being moody, after all. Sitting side-by-side on Archie's bed, not touching except for the occasional brush of shoulder against shoulder, and not even for the most part looking at each other, they manage over the course of over an hour to establish that being "in love" does not, in fact, mean the same thing to Jughead as it does to Archie.

To Archie it means the typical things most people think of. He wants to take Jughead out on dates and surprise him with flowers or something—probably not actually flowers because Jughead isn't into them and anyway has allergies—and, yes, have sex with him.

To Jughead it means...he's not completely clear on this. Maybe _in love_ isn't even the right phrase, but this feeling has been with him for several weeks now, and it's getting stronger, not weaker, so it's probably real, whatever it is. At least, he wants to find out if it is. And as far as the stuff Archie wants... Jughead's not opposed to going on a date, although he doesn't see that it would necessarily be any better than just hanging out together, or what the difference is even. He hadn't really thought about gifts before, but he's not going to turn down anything that doesn't make him sneeze. Sex, though...he's really not sure he sees the appeal. Maybe he will, after a while; he can't rule it out. Six months ago he would have ruled out the possibility of wanting to kiss someone, and now he does want to.

"Really?" Archie asks. "You really want to kiss me?"

"It might be better if you kiss me. If you still want to, that is. Because let's face it, I'm going to suck at it."

"You're not going to..." Archie can't finish the sentence. He can't say the word _suck_ without thinking about Jughead sucking stuff, and Jughead hasn't given any indication that he's going to want to do that, so thinking about it is not a good idea. "But, yeah, I can..."

Archie turns his head toward Jughead, who does the same. Being careful not to bring any other part of his body in contact with any other part of Jughead's, he leans in and presses his lips to Jughead's. Jughead doesn't move at all for several seconds, and Archie is convinced he's fucked everything up. But then suddenly Jughead is kissing him back, not with any tongue or even with his mouth open, but firmly, and repeatedly. After a minute Archie feels Jughead's hand on his forearm. It's objectively not the best kiss Archie has ever had, but it's the happiest one has ever made him.


End file.
